it's the littlest things

Who doesn't enjoy a good list? Okay, probably lots of people but personally, I enjoy lists. I enjoy writing them and I especially enjoy ticking stuff off them. Molly seems to have inherited my fondness for lists. In fact I dictated the grocery list to her the other day and she was very attentive in writing it down (I couldn't read the finished list but that's beside the point).

So, here is a list of some of the littlest joys of parent-hood (I may be alone in some of these but others are probably pretty universal). No major events or achievements, just the funny little moments and things that give me a wee rush happiness.

Washing grass stains out of my kids clothes (other stains do not fill be me with joy but grass, for some reason, does)

Referring to my "son" or "daughter" - I always remember my old friend Julia telling me about going to get her son's birth certificate and being really overwhelmed (in a good way!) the moment she referred to her brand new baby boy as "my son".

Seeing my kid's name on their cubby or on piece of artwork at school. Molly had a brief stint in daycare just before I quit work for good and when we withdrew her (which was a happy thing!) I actually got really sad when they gave me her cubby photo to take home. I loved seeing her sweet face there on that little piece of her turf in the daycare. Same feeling when I put stuff in Gabriel's locker and I see the "Gabriel N" tag with his funny little drawing next to it.

When they say "thank you" and you can tell they actually mean it.

Another kid banging on the door asking if one of your kids can come out and play. The pleasure of this one is actually starting to wear off but for the most part it still gives me the warm fuzzies.

When your kid does/buys something for you with actual thought about what you would like. This is the big jump from assuming that EVERYONE wants plastic dinosaurs or my little ponies for their birthday. Now, they may not get this exactly right, especially at first, but when you can see the genuine intention behind the offering it's a wonderful feeling. When Gabriel was 3 he picked out a very charming bracelet for me with these giant light blue beads. As blue was his favorite colour I asked him if that's why he'd picked that one. I will never forget the sound of his little voice saying "no, it was the one I thought you'd like". Melt.

Siblings playing peacefully. Even if it only lasts for a minute. Which is good as it probably will only last for a minute. Tops.

Listening to my kids talk on the phone. Or answer the phone. This can also be heartwarming and helpful if you're making dinner and you've taught your kids how to deal with telemarketers.

There are a million more of these little moments and if you're lucky you'll find them throughout the day; there to give you a lift, maybe when you least expect it or better still, when you most need it. They don't knock your socks off like the major milestones, but major milestones can't be rushed and they don't happen everyday. So it's a good thing to find your joy in small stuff too. Otherwise you might find yourself encouraging that not quite ready to drop baby tooth or loosening up the training wheels a little too soon. And blood and tears are not going to be that memorable moment you're looking for now are they?

gone and kind of forgotten

Molly has exactly the same thing for breakfast every single day ("tella toast" - nutella on bread, that is not actually toasted, and apple juice). She doesn't eat the crusts but she does take great care to set them up neatly on her plate so they form the outline of the slice with the middle gone. Every day the same breakie, same ritual with the crust. And everyday I have to then wipe the nutella off her cheeks. For face wiping I have a charming stack of ancient baby facecloths some of which I think were actually from Gabriel's babyhood so let's just say they are well used. Anyway, all of this atmospheric set-up is actually leading to a point that has nothing to do with nutella or disintegrating face cloths (yay!). As I wiped Molly's face this morning it struck me that I really don't have to wipe Gabe's face much any more. He wants to do it himself and that's one more little tedious task of parenthood gone. And I was thinking about all the other mundane parts of being a parent that disappear into our rear view mirrors without a second look or thought. Some you never even notice they are gone. We remember the monumental baby to kid milestones (the last diaper, the last night in the crib) but many tasks and things start off as a big part of a parent's life and then...just kind of slip away...

I'm thinking of face/bum wiping, carrying a diaper bag, sippy cups, bottles and plastic dishes, stair gates, using a stroller, baby food, delightful word mispronunciations. I'm probably forgetting lots of things because, well, that's what this list is, the incidental, easily forgotten stuff.

Because Molly's only four some of those things still apply in our house though not for Gabriel. Can I remember the last time he used a sippy cup? Nope. I'm not sorry he's moved beyond these things but more than ever these days I feel like I'm very close to being out of a certain phase of parenting. All the special gizmos and gadgets for babies and toddlers are no longer relevant. Soon I won't need to go down the baby aisle in the grocery store. I notice Mums with older children and wonder if they remember what it's like to carry crackers and wipes in your purse. Do they remember the last time they had to help button their kid's jeans? I look at my kids and I realize that they are indeed kids; not babies, not toddlers. The drive for independence is finally somewhat matched by the ability to actually be independent.

I love watching my kids grow and I'm not really sentimental and wishing to hold on to the little kid years. But I am going to try and enjoy every part of parenting a 4-year old knowing that there are lots of little things that will soon be gone from my mummy repertoire. But though she says it with great flourish and panache, I shall not be at all sorry to never ever again hear the cry from the loo "buuuuuuuuuuuuuum wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipe".