i love my mamas

Just to be clear I have but one actual Mama*. And she is Mum or Mummy - never Mama or Mom. I love her dearly and she truly is both a magnificent mother and friend. But that is perhaps another post. The maternal types referred to in the title are not in fact my mamas biologically speaking and truthfully I don't think I can really claim possession of them. But these mamas are my network, my support system and my "co-workers" (really - we even had a holiday party. But without the actual office part). And none of what I just said in that sentence really sums up what these mamas mean to me. In this post I will brag about "my" mamas while knowing that many moms are lucky enough to find a group of like-minded mothers that they click with. I know we are not the only group of supportive, friendly, wine drinking, socializing mothers out there. But in the way that every mother knows that her kids are the cutest, I know that I am right when I say that my mamas are the best (and also the cutest).

Of course I see my mamas, at least some of them, almost every day and so I think about them a lot. But the start of a new moms and babies group at our school really got me thinking about the bonds mothers form. I was watching the moms and babies arrive the other day, mostly one by one and I got nostalgic thinking about when I went to my very first moms and babies group when Gabriel was about 2 months old. Those moms saved my sanity. Literally. Right about that time my doctor diagnosed me PPD and while I know anti-depressants helped, it was meeting those moms and sharing experiences with them that really made the difference. I felt about a thousand times better from the first day I met them. Over the years we've mostly fallen out of touch mostly because almost all of us have since moved from that neighborhood. But I will never forget those moms.

So watching the moms walk into the school I couldn't help but wonder if there was one among them who was going to have her sanity saved. If this was going to be the beginning of a whole new network of mamas. I hope so. Because like many moms I know how an awesome gang of mamas can change your whole parenting experience. For the better.

My mamas - the best. They really are. For one thing I enjoy each and every one of them as a person. They are people I could have been friends with under any circumstance. We're a delightfully mixed bag of bags (ahem); some at home, some at work, some doing both. Professionally our backgrounds are varied. But our kids are all roughly the same ages (in some cases best buddies) and they all go to one of two neighborhood schools. Aside from actually seeing my kid at 3:30, the other highlight is seeing what mamas are going to be around and enjoying a quick chat. If the weather's good we often hit up the park and we all enjoy chatting and ignoring our kids together. Over the years we've had semi-regular wine evenings and shared a number of parties and outings. But the socializing is only part of the picture. Any mamas can chin-wag and drink wine. Here's why my mamas are really the best.

Perfect example two days ago. I was totally wiped out having been up half the night feeling sick. Molly's birthday was on the horizon (today in fact!) and I needed to bake various things for her various celebrations. And Jono was (and is still) in Texas working. It was a shitty rainy day so I thought of inviting two of Molly's buddies over (they are brothers) to play. Instead, their awesome Mama invites Molly to play AND offers to feed her lunch. Did I mention that these brothers also have a 2 year old sister? So that's going to be 4 kids under 6 in her house on a rainy afternoon. And I got to go home and make cupcakes - alone. Awesome right? Totally saved my butt and gave me a break on a day when I was feeling like absolute crap (of course by "break" I mean that I baked a million cupcakes, roasted a squash to make soup and cooked a chicken for supper).

And this is totally typical of my mamas (in fact just today another awesome mama hosted my kids at an impromptu Friday party.) We make each other dinner, look after each others kids and generally cover each others asses. I always feel like I'm receiving more ass covering than I'm giving but I know we do things for each other in ways that are not always directly reciprocal. You do for me and I end up doing for someone else. We all know that it's a karmic circle of mothering and childcare.

So I love my mamas. Part of the reason I knew I could quit work and be happy at home with the kids was knowing that I'd have these mamas as co-workers. Parenting can be isolating especially when you stay home full time. You need other adults to interact with. You need that friendly ear and the reassuring response that tells you that someone else's kid is totally doing that weird/worrying/annoying thing too. Having another mother and her kids over for a play date and a cup of tea can turn even the most blah day into something a whole lot better. And when that mother then offers to take your kid back to her house for dinner, a movie and a sleepover, well, then you know you hit the jack-pot. I truly mean it when I say I'm rich in everything but money. I'm definitely rich in mamas**.

*I also have an AMAZING mother-in-law whom I adore. And not just because she helps look after my kids. She also gives me free facials ;)
** new mamas are always welcome!